Why do i try so hard when i know it wont happen? Like it wasn't ment to be, even though i wanted it so bad. Why must i be so selfesh? I think abt what i want and don't even stop to think abt the other person involving I never thought abt what they want and what they want is not me on that place So why must i feel this way? may be it's just a waste of my life time. But i cant change my feelings. They have to heal with time. In the meanwhile i must sit back in silence while my heart silently cries out. I find complacency in temporary feelings which i know are not real. These feelings pass with time but are forever in my heart. I'm afraid to step forward again. But a friend gives me courage and reasures me. So i'll do. Do i hit the target this time? may be no. as i said before, it's just a waste of time and waste of heart hard work. once again. i"m proud of being me. i'm the one , i ain't gonna lose something. there's so much more chances, in other time. should i wait ? but they did something, they won't regret for doing it.
what am i suppose to do in this dark damn life. sometimes i see that there's only one solution could make me free and free my surronded soul (leave it 4ever).but i don't think that this is good for me. i know that i'm a muslum guy and don't have to think in dark things like that but it stills not fair . friends i have . money (thank god ) . health (thank god) .love (i'm not impressed or proud of my experiences) but i still have a probleme and i don't know where can i find it ?
I saw so many colors in my last night's dream I don't know how it goes ? but i'm still thinking n insisting to continue what i wanted to clear . But the problem is in me !! Every time i start to think or breath or even feel, all my goals end with a great falling Is it that hard to be a successful guy ? Is it that hard to enjoy those horrible moments ? I'm thinking of my purpesless life , of my endless pain , of my unknown future steps of my grief of my unfaithful heart of my sadness of my black flowers garden inside my empty soul !! By :NiP-SwOrD